Article
Why does controlling food feel calming when everything else is chaotic?
Many women can name the season it started. Something was out of their hands, and food was not.
The short answer
Rules about food can produce a real, temporary sense of order when life feels unmanageable. Over time the rules tend to require more of you and give back less, and the underlying anxiety is left unaddressed.
How it starts
It rarely starts as a disorder. It starts as coping. A move, a loss, a family that was tense, a season with no room for your own needs, and one area of life that finally responded to effort.
That is worth compassion rather than embarrassment. It also explains why willpower is the wrong tool for undoing it.
What it costs later
- The rules expand and the calm shrinks.
- Breaking a rule produces distress out of proportion to the event.
- Social life narrows around what you can eat and where.
- Anxiety about other things is still there, waiting.
- Your body pays for the arrangement.
What the work involves
Counseling looks at what the control has been holding together, builds other ways to steady yourself, and addresses the anxiety directly rather than through food. Medical and nutritional support come alongside when needed.
Common questions
Is this the same as anxiety?
They are closely related and often occur together. A professional evaluation is how to sort out what is happening.
Will I have to give up all structure around eating?
No. Regular, planned eating is usually part of recovery. The goal is structure that serves you rather than rules that run you.
Where does counseling start?
Usually with your story, not with your food.
Learn more about counseling for eating disorders and body image with Lori, or browse all articles on eating, food and body image.
Written by Lori Rasmussen, LISW, a Licensed Independent Social Worker licensed in the State of Iowa and a Certified Spiritual Director. Lori counsels women and female students in Waterloo, Iowa and online across Iowa. Articles here are meant to help you understand what you may be experiencing; they are not a diagnosis and they do not take the place of care from a professional who knows your story.
Reaching out can be the first step.
You don't need to know exactly what to say, or have anything figured out, before you contact Lori.
Or email rasmussencounselingandsd@gmail.com