Article
Why are mirrors, photos and getting dressed so hard?
Getting dressed can consume a morning. A single photo can undo a good day.
The short answer
Mirror checking and photo avoidance are both attempts to manage anxiety about being seen, and both tend to increase it. Reducing checking, simplifying what you wear, and limiting how long you look are usually more effective than trying to feel differently.
Why checking backfires
Each check invites closer inspection, and close inspection always finds something. The relief you are looking for is not available in the mirror, so the search repeats.
Avoidance does the opposite thing with the same result. The longer you avoid photos or mirrors, the more loaded they become.
What to try instead
- Set a time limit for the mirror, and use it for function rather than evaluation.
- Simplify mornings with a few outfits that reliably feel comfortable.
- Let a photo be taken occasionally, and do not review it immediately.
- Move your attention outward, to the person you are with or the thing you are doing.
- Notice the thought without arguing with it. Arguing keeps you in the mirror.
The part underneath
Usually this is not about vanity. It is about safety, belonging and whether you will be acceptable to other people. That is the part counseling can actually help with.
Common questions
Is mirror checking a symptom?
It can be part of body image distress or an eating disorder, and only a qualified professional can evaluate that.
Should I cover my mirrors?
Full avoidance usually raises the pressure. Reducing frequency and duration tends to work better.
Can this improve?
Yes, and it often improves earlier than people expect once checking decreases.
Learn more about counseling for eating disorders and body image with Lori, or browse all articles on eating, food and body image.
Written by Lori Rasmussen, LISW, a Licensed Independent Social Worker licensed in the State of Iowa and a Certified Spiritual Director. Lori counsels women and female students in Waterloo, Iowa and online across Iowa. Articles here are meant to help you understand what you may be experiencing; they are not a diagnosis and they do not take the place of care from a professional who knows your story.
Reaching out can be the first step.
You don't need to know exactly what to say, or have anything figured out, before you contact Lori.
Or email rasmussencounselingandsd@gmail.com